Back to life

Hello out there and Happy New Year! It has been a long week readjusting back to real life. Richard and I were away for the Christmas holidays. We had a really splendid time. I could gush about it, but I'm trying to focus on getting used to the idea that we are apart again. This past week was the first week back to work, and back to being apart. It wasn't too bad of a transition after spending two solid weeks together. But it wasn't a good one, if there is such a thing.
I don't know really how to express this, but I find myself obsessing a lot. Always checking my phone and refreshing my email. I think part of it is that I know he isn't available for texting or emailing during the day, which results in me wanting it more. Which I guess is a fairly normal response. Tell me I can't have something and I want it that much more. It starts to seem like if I don't get that thing, I may not survive. But the truth is, I do survive. Our relationship survives without flooding each other's respective in boxes. Little expressions of what is our repetitive daily condition. Why do I crave it so much? There really isn't a need for status updates. I love him. I miss him. He loves and misses me. It isn't like the more I say it, or the more I hear it or read it, the less I miss him or the more I love him. The feelings remain the same.
Somehow though, the fact remains that I do want to hear from him more often. Not seeing him everyday really leaves a void. I want to try to fill it by hearing from him more than just our goodnight chat. I want to hear from him throughout the day. I want to know he is thinking about me as much as I am thinking about him. Would I want the contact as much as I do if it became routine? I can't answer that. I know I do notice it when I do receive a text or an email from him every once in a while during the work day. Whenever I complain about this to Richard, his response is, "what did we do before text?" The funny part is that before text we emailed every day and wrote letters. Doesn't really help his argument. At any rate, I think I am accepting that our relationship is what it is. I'm going to work on checking my phone less. I am also going to work on taking care of myself this year. My New Year's Resolutions are to: get into therapy as soon as possible, study and pass both of my licensing exams before the end of the year, and take better care of my health.
As far as our relationship goes, I don't know what the future will hold. Richard is back in Kansas until at earliest middle of February. He does not know when he will be back, or where he will be back to. He has no home in Southern California now. All of his belongings were moved to storage. So whatever the transition will be, it will not be an easy one for either of us. I just received an email from him that his employer is looking for some volunteer's to move to Guam. Guam!?! Yes, Guam. Looks like 2009 may have more upheaval than 2008. The good news is, whatever it is, we will get through it together.