Milestones

Today is Richard's birthday. In the seven years we have known one another, this is his first birthday that he is spending alone. In 2002 we had known each other for just about two months. A few of his friends and his sister had come to visit for the summer, but everyone returned home before his birthday. I promised him that I would spend his birthday with him, even if I had to drive back to Santa Barbara from Long Beach. Which I did, and I got a speeding ticket on the way. In 2003, he had returned to California from June through September, so we had his birthday together that year. 2004 gave us a lot to celebrate, as he had just returned to California nine days before his birthday. So that year had a few celebrations. And not even a year later, he was moving again, but this time up to the Bay Area. When his birthday came, I had moved up here as well and we were living in an Extended Stay Motel. Since I was unemployed, he got some "gift coupons" to be used when I had a job. I don't think he ever cashed them in. Oh, and he also got a balloon. In 2006 I took him to see one of his favorite bands Zero 7 at the legendary Fillmore in San Francisco. 2007 his parents were here for a visit and last year he came up here to visit me so we could spend the weekend together. We had just returned from a trip to Greece for his friend's wedding, so it was nice to just relax together. It is a similar situation this year, since his parents were just here for three weeks. But he is spending his birthday alone. Not even a balloon this year, and that makes me sad. I know we will make up for it next weekend, which is a long weekend for us both. So we will be celebrating a lot then, just four nights away. But I hate to think of him alone today. I miss him a lot and I really wish I was there to hug him. I am tired of milestones passing us by while we are 397 miles apart.

An Anniversary

I don't want to dwell because I have other things to share, but it looks like I didn't get the job in Long Beach. So, we continue doing what we are doing. And I am surprisingly okay with that. I have to believe that the Universe has some plan for us, and this is all part of that plan.

I returned to work on Wednesday after two weeks off with Richard and his parents. Even though I returned to work, I still had the three of them with me until yesterday. I was sad to see them go, and of course especially sad to see Richard go. It is amazing how easy it is to get comfortable being around him 24/7 after being used to only being around him two weekends a month. Although I really needed a good night's sleep last night, I missed him hogging the covers and sleeping in the exact middle of the bed. As I rolled over last night, I saw the date on my alarm clock and was jarred by the realization that yesterday was the five year anniversary of him coming to America. I wasn't able to reach him to honor the day together, and I was sad that I didn't remember it when I said goodbye to him that morning. So instead of reading a few paragraphs of a sappy book before falling asleep, I pulled out the box of old letters from him. The letters that we wrote to each other over two years, over 6,000 miles.

I randomly pulled out one from February 2003. I didn't realize how much I missed his letters. Our relationship is a different relationship now then it was then. We don't write letters anymore. We have succumbed to the convenience of modern technology. Even back then we emailed every day, but we didn't have Skype or web cams. We didn't instant message because of the time difference, and lack of Internet access. We couldn't afford to talk on the phone every day. We were not able to text each other. Now, we have all of those luxuries, so we don't have to write letters. We also have the foundation though that writing our letters created. So for those of you that are in newer LDRs, get out that pen and paper.

Nothing connects you like letter writing. It may not seem different than email, but it is. And I really miss it. The few times in the last two years I have received mail from Richard, I was filled with joy. Reading some of those letters last night moved me to tears, as I'm sure they did six years ago when I read them for the first time. So much time has passed, they are starting to actually look like old letters. It may be time to try and preserve them some how. Maybe in some plastic holders. I would love to combine both of our sets and bind them and each have a copy. Maybe I will be able to do that one day. I would hate to lose them somehow. If there was a fire in my home, and I had to get out quickly the only two things I would grab would be my pet and my letters from Richard. And I keep them in my nightstand for ease of access. If I had time, I would grab my other important papers and I would of course try to get my photographs, but more than anything, I would want those letters. In fact, I may need to invest in a fireproof safe. And after writing this, perhaps a new set of stationary.

Taking to the Air

No word yet from the job I interviewed for last week. C'est la vie as they say. I am trying to not be disappointed and trying to focus on the positive. Easier said than done, of course. I was already envisioning how to spend the increase in salary. And I know better than to count my chickens before they hatch.

Currently I am preparing for a ten day holiday. I will try to post while I am away, but no guarantees. Richard's parents are coming to visit, so we will be giving them lots of overdue attention and trying to be the best hosts that we can be. Which isn't easy considering we are split over 400 miles of California! And of course, there was the discussion of which area is better for entertaining our guests. Some of our itinerary still isn't confirmed, so it will be interesting to see which half of California wins. Either way, I am really looking forward to seeing the folks, and really looking forward to not being at work!

To keep my roll of cliche sayings going, all good things must come to an end, so returning to life and work and long-distance relationship always leads to post-vacation blues for both of us. Richard is always sad to see his family go and gets especially homesick after visits, so I am anticipating more to say about that in coming posts. He is prone to bottling up his feelings and then exploding, as many people are. Then I am prone to taking responsibility for his upset feelings, then creating my own upset feelings. Hopefully that is a familiar show we can avoid this time around.

So with that, it is time to take off! Keep those suggestions and comments coming, and please subscribe if you haven't already. Also, you can rate the blog on blogcatalog.com. Cheers!