A Hint of Something in the Air

I feel it. Changes are coming. Big ones. And I am freaking out.

Of course I want to be back living with Richard. But after nearly two years, I have really grown used to things being the way they are. Which just supports the theory that no matter how awkward or awful your situation is, you become accustomed. You acclimate. It becomes comfortable. Which breeds resistance to change. I would like to think that I am adaptable, but I get very comfortable. And when I'm comfy, I don't like shifting around. I love my apartment, I love my neighborhood, I love my friends, I love my work (sometimes), I love my life, except for the bit about never seeing my partner. And even that seems to be working lately.

So what happens when we live together again? I'm trying to remember what it was like before, when he first came back from England for good in 2004. My memory thinks that the transition was flawless. That we just naturally fell into a wonderful, blissful coexistence and cohabitation. Now I'm wondering if that was true, if that was his experience as well. Regardless, it will be different this time. We are different people. We are five years older. We are in different places professionally and geographically. Which leads to the question of how and when this anticipated reunion will come to pass. Will he be moving? Will I be moving? Will we both be moving? When will these questions be answered? And the biggest question of all, what will it be like for us?

I'm thinking about what it will be like again to have his clothes strewn everywhere. To have cabinet doors left open. To have the tiny hairs from when he shaves left all over the bathroom sink. To have five glasses of water left all over the house. To have him in bed with me again EVERY night. To cuddle on the couch while we watch television. To talk about how our days were in person. To hold hands and go for walks. To spend all day in bed if we want and not feel like we HAVE to get out and do something since we only get eight days together a month. Wow, the more I think, the more I realize that things will be just fine. So winds of change, bring it on.

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Forecasting Plans

Wow time does seem to have a way of just going on by. It has been too long since I have posted, but not without good reason. First of all, I must admit that I am lucky to have my day job because it turns out that I am a crappy forecaster! In my last post I lamented about Richard talking about coming to see me the first weekend of the month, and how unrealistic that was considering everything else that was going on. I believe the comment was something to the effect of him coming to visit being as likely as snow in San Francisco. Well, I won't be too hard on myself because Richard did go back and forth on the whole idea the entire month of September, right up until the last minute. As I was making plans to go meet a girlfriend for dinner, he called me late afternoon to say that he would like to book a flight, if it was okay with me. Needless to say, yes it was very okay with me. It worked out great, I still saw my friend for dinner and swung by the airport on the way home to pick him up. It was a shorter visit than what we are used to, but it was really great having him in my space again.

The best part about the visit was that it was only four days until I got to see him again! I flew down south last Thursday and stayed my usual four nights. Even more exciting, that Friday Richard went to work and came home again before I even got in the shower! Being that such an event is so unusual, I was not able to post last week. This past weekend was also different because we had a solid itinerary for the weekend. We are chronic offenders in the 'what do you want to do?' 'I don't know, what do you want to do?' game. And that game gets old very quickly. At any rate, having the itinerary seemed to make the weekend run a lot more smoothly, so we are going to try to make an effort to make solid plans more often. That is a lot easier said than done. Especially when Richard is involved. He is terrible at making up his mind. Also, money is often an issue, since we spend so much money per month traveling. But the real obstacle is finding things that we both like doing, or compromising and finding things to do together. So I will be looking forward to reporting back on how we do. We see each other again next weekend. And so far, we have no plans. All I know is that it is great that we are back in our normal routine. I don't think we will go longer than two weeks without seeing each other for the rest of the year! So I hope we can come up with some good plans over all those weekends, especially over the holidays.

Speaking of planning, it continues to be strenuous still not having a clue what our long-term plan is. I continue to apply for jobs in Southern California, with no luck. And we continue to patiently wait to see what Richard's job has in store for him. It seems that some exciting things are in the pipeline, so hopefully we will have some more important planning to do in the near future. But for now, we better get started on next weekend.